In my last post I engaged in a conversation with a scammer from Africa who offered me a huge some of money if I just pay a small fee. I started telling him my life story and how I love whale hunting. He didn't accept my offer to make him a candle of whale fat but it was all in all a fun experience.
This time I got another million dollar deal offer and since I try to push the boundaries with each conversation I started pretending I am Sir Ulrich von Liechtenstein.
Let's see how it turned out.
I first got an email informing me about my incoming fortune which was just a PDF file with some more details:
Seems legit. Let's reply!
“Dear Sir/Madam
I have received your email with the details of me receiving (I probably shouldn’t use receive so much, sorry about that. I am diverging, sorry again) 1.5 million dollars on a credit card.
In order to gain your trust I am hereby sending you the data needed.
Full name: Ulrich von Liechtenstein
Address: Markov trg 1, Zagreb, Croatia
Telephone: 00385 1 4569 239
Let me know when I can pick up the money
Best regards,
Ulrich”
Within a short time they got back to me with this response:
“Dear Ulrich von Liechtenstein
This is to officially inform you that your payment has been linked via Automated teller machine and has been accredited in your favor today.
Master Gold automated teller machine card value of (US$1,500,000.00) hence deposited with DHL COURIER Company would be dispatched to your designated address immediately we complete stamp duty authorization today with MASTER CARD.
Note card stamp authorization and legalization delivery charges & insurance coverage fees of US$391 dollars only would be required to complete authorization of stamp duty today
Below is Shipment Code: CPEL/OWN/9876
Parcel Number: EG2272-RSA
Indicate the mode of payment of dispatch/ security safe keeping fee of US$391 which have to be paid immediately so that we can get the airways bill and send to you.
Anticipating your maximum co-operation.
Yours Sincerely
Mr.Michael Malakasa
Direct line: +27- 712823442”
Since it was officially confirmed I could only ask one thing:
“Where do I have to pay?”
This was just a sweet deal! I just have to pay a lousy 391 bucks and I am going to get some bling sent my way.
He responded with:
“Dear Ulrich von Liechtenstein
Here is the payment details below, locate nearest money gram money transfer outlet and wire the fees, use the word GIFT as reason to send the money to avoid taxation of your amount.
CHARLES THOMAS MKHAWANE
#100 BANK HOUSE
JOHANNESBURG-SOUTH AFRICA
Attach proof of payment”
So I "went to my nearest" MoneyGram outlet and arranged the payment. Since I don't have a proof of payment I searched for " MoneyGram proof of payment" and found out that their reference number has 8 digits. I got back to him with this:
“My friend everything is set.
The reference number is 19756854
Hope we can get this done as soon as possible
”
I was really hoping he wouldn't mentioned the receipt but, alas, he outsmarted me:
“Please could you attach the payment slip for our records purpose”
Damn! But I can turn the ship around one more time:
“I thought you just needed the reference number so I threw it away :(
Is there anything I can do otherwise”
Lucky for me, I am dealing with a professional:
“Let me check the system, and who is the sender by the way?”
Oh come on! You know who I am:
“Sir Ulrich von Liechtenstein of Gelderland”
I think the dude might be onto me at this point:
“invalid bro
—
Copyright (c) 1999-2016 National Lottery International Promotion Inc. All rights reserved. Terms of Service ”
First he said he was from the United Nations and now he is using some National Lottery International Promotion Inc. signature. #rookieMistake
But what caught my eye more was his "Invalid bro". How dare he talk to me like that:
“Please don’t call me bro
I am Sir Ulrich von Liechtenstein of Gelderalnd and I demand to be treated like that”
I even attached one of my photos for more effect:
The only thing he could respond now and admit defeat was:
“fuck”
Victory! Nobility strikes again.
I love chatting with these guys because for two reasons. I force myself to come up with different stories every time which is quite a challenge but it's a fun little exercise to keep the brain spitting out creative ideas.
The second, and more important, reason is just to keep them busy. Every minute he spends with me is a minute less spent with someone who might believe his bullshit. I know, I know - real heroes sometimes don't wear capes :)
Until next time,
Don't forget to be awesome!